I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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