Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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