that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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