whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
