It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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