Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
