Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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