You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
