Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I look better un-naked...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
