im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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