Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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