okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
