My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
