I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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