I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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