operation harelip BJ is a go
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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