your thong is hanging out like whoa
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Randomize
