We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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