i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Randomize
