I'm lost and stupid without you.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
