I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
