Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
