im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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