OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize