hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
