My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
