i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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