its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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