We're facebook friends in real life
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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