Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
