Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think your dad took our porno
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
