just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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