i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
