Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
