she was so not down for the gang bang
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
