i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
