i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
