ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
