so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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