After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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