If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
