I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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