Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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