Only a mothe r could love this liver
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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