Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
