watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
