Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
