She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
