Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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