literally had 100 drinks last night.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
